It all started right before the Christmas break. I was sucking on a
peppermint candy and bit down on it and a sharp pain went strait up to my head
while I was drive down the road, can you say holy mother of raccoons! If
I never feel that pain again, I will have lived my life to its fullest.
Then while I was on Christmas break it happened again, while I was eating the
most delicious French toast. Now French toast is soft, so it got me
thinking, is it the sweets that is hurting my teeth? I decided I better
get to the dentist because I have been avoiding eating on the one side of my mouth for to long now.
I also went to the dentist, because I have dental insurance, that's right!
The dentist looked around in my mouth where I said the crime happened; he said
that he did not see anything that was wrong, so he took an x-ray. He came back
and said there is nothing showing up on this x-ray. He took a baby hammer
out. That's right I said a hammer! He hammered all the teeth around where the crime happened and he said,
"do you feel any pain?" I never in a million years would have
thought, that I would say, ”no that does not hurt, I don't feel
anything". For God sake the man is tapping on my teeth with a dam
hammer, have I lost my mind! He said well, there is no abscess in your mouth or around your gums or teeth and nothing is showing up on the x-ray. Then he asks me.......the
question....."Do you think you might be grinding your teeth?"
"Holy mother of raccoons," that's it! I said, "YES!" I
do think I am grinding my teeth! He says "do you wake up with mild
headaches and a sore jaw?" I said "YES I do!" It's
like a light bulb went off in my
head. He said keep an eye on it and if it gets worse then you might
need to get fitted for a mouth piece to sleep with at night. I said well
lets get that started right now.! He said "well, it's
expensive". I said how expensive? He say's "500 dollars
expensive and it is not usually covered under insurance. I say "Holy
mother of raccoons"! Forget it, "I don't have 500 dollars to spend on
my mouth". He says just keep an eye on it and we will check it again when
you come back for your cleaning. Now I am thinking to myself, how does your eye keep an eye on your tooth? Oh, it's my minds eye, oh you didn't no that either, your mind has an eye. Didn't your mother ever tell you she has eyes at the back of her head. I said okay to the doctor and got up and left.
I tell my husband all about this and he says "lets just go get you a
football mouth piece". I said are you kidding me? I can’t sleep with
that in my mouth. So I forget about it until yesterday, when I got my
declined statement from my Dental insurance in the mail. You say
what? Yes, that's right you heard it, I got a declined statement from my dental insurance to pay for
that office visit over the holidays. The man looked in my mouth, hammered
a few teeth and took an x-ray and the bill was $87 dollars. So I did what
every God Fearing American who gets pissed off, and called the insurance agency up to explain
why they declined to pay my office visit. I am rattling on to much again;
I just better end this now. So sorry. You are not interested
anyway! If you are, just ask me. Oh wait a cotton pickin minute; I forgot this is why I
wrote this whole long drawn out drama of a story in the first place. I casually mentioned this
whole thing to my son Brandon last night around 7 o'clock, when he told me the
most wonderful news. He says mom, "just go on line and look for
"The Doctor's Night Guard," it's only $18 to $20 dollars".
So I did and there it was for all to see....the heavens opened and the angles sang a song
and the reviews were amazing. Jeff and I looked on the Wal-Mart site and they
had it. I called them to make sure and the lady on the other end of the phone says yes
we have them and they are in the tooth paste isle. We jump in the car and
head to Wal-Mart. Long story short, I woke up with no headache or sore jaw.
Thanks Brandon!
P,S. So sorry about my grammar and punctuation, I am a work in progress.
